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This period marks a full decade since the phrase “disappearing” hit the mainstream. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a lover without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who matured during a loneliness crisis, a male identity crisis, and a concerted challenge on the rights of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a comprehensive glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reply is interested or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who aids you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who forgo having children to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Flags

• Red flags – Personal habits indicating a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their former partners unstable, poor gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits confirm your choice to date a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely benign quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {